His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Someone came in the potted fern
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
