If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
