You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
porn star boner night. come get it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
