We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
