You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
