The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Boobs are out for the taking
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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