Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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