last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
