And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
