I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
