She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
