Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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