thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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