but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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