New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
