I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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