So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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