She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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