I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
