So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
