There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
