YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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