I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
