Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Two words: nipple clamps
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