Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
