Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I could fuck to npr.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
