Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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