WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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