so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
