No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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