The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
