I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
try to milk me bitch
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
