I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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