So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
