I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
