I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
