Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
