I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize