walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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