Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
