nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
