he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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