Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
