I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
