ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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