Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
