Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NoShamevember. You game?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
