I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
