Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
