Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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