dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
