bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
