I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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