I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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